Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Honesty and Senior Online Dating

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This has got to be true because many online dating services ask the participant to rate themselves on the "good looking" scale and so far every man I have looked at has rated himself as "very good looking." Excuse me... have you looked in a mirror lately? Who do you see? The man you were once, the man you wish you were... or the man you are? Very, VERY few individuals, male or female, are very good looking over the age of 60 at least by our society standards. Wrinkles, sunspots, worn, torn and sagging muscles all take their toll on a once handsome (or pretty) face.
Now, it is possible you are still very handsome but how would a gal know if you are wearing a hat with a broad brim or ball cap with a visor casting a shadow down your face AND you have on sun glasses. Then there are the photos that would be telling close ups if they were not in shadow altogether even without the glasses and hats! And of course, those long distant shots of you on your boat a half a mile out, those are always really helpful too. Good Heavens! What were you thinking when posting such pictures?
Add to this the problem of pictures that are not current and are not dated and to flirt or not to flirt becomes an adventure (to put a positive spin on it).
And I am not just picking on the men though they are what I see the most, of course. I once read a profile of a really pissed off gentleman who ranted: Ladies, please post a current picture so I don't have to get a DNA test to verify if you are actually the person you presented on the website. He had clearly been surprised by more than a few ladies whose pictures were from by gone days. More recently, a realtor wrote: I want to see a close up and a full length photo and no posed glamour shots please! Apparently portrait shots can hide a more than ample figure, and he continued, please, no pictures of your pets, cars or living room, though in my opinion all these things can be very telling about a person. If the pooch is in every picture, you KNOW you are going to share a bed with that darling.
The other challenge to online dating is the guy (or gal) who tells you about himself with six words or less, or with the always favorite: I'll tell you later! Four words! As for what he is looking for: Contact me, I'll tell you then. Now this has got to mean either he is lazy, hiding something or wants the "contactee" to do all the work of "connecting." I guess his good looks were supposed to be enough for a lady to reach out to him... provided she can actually see his face.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Attraction is in the eye of the beholder so there is no reason not to be honest about yourself and how you really look NOW, because the "beholder will see what they need or want to see and if you are not that, you are in for a rejection no matter how exceptional your profile!