Although online dating has seen tremendous growth over the years, and has become a more respectable method for meeting a romantic interest, there are still those who persist with being dishonest and deceptive.
Sometimes more serious forms of dishonesty occur, exceeding the usual misrepresentation of height and weight. They use the computer as an opportunity to conceal their true identity. To them, online dating is not real; it is imaginary. Moreover, as long as all contact is kept online, these people are content with taking on a whole new personality. Their intent is never to meet face-to-face; only to establish an online relationship. They may be unavailable, married or just playing a game; at your expense.
This conduct is the ultimate form of online deception because whatever they reveal is probably not true nor can be verified. In the meantime, you could be pulled into this person's scheme and waste a great deal of time or, worse, become emotionally involved.
One of the ways to combat this behavior, is to not engage in extended periods of emailing without working towards a meeting.
In most cases, someone who is not interested in moving communications forward, will not commit to meeting you in person. For example, I was befriended by someone who only wanted to write elaborate emails....mostly about himself. We never progressed to a phone conversation, let alone a meeting.Becoming tired of the whole routine, I suggested that we start to talk by phone, he resisted and abruptly stopped communicating. Then some months later, he contacted me again and resumed his writing ways and the whole routine. That time I hastily broke off corresponding with him.
I also recall doubting the information he wrote in his profile, as my investigations did not support what he told me about himself.Here are some suggestions on how to handle the online dater with questionable motives:
1) Apply a serious tone to your profile so that who you are and what you're looking for, is not misinterpreted. You don't want to invite those who are just "having fun". While your profile should not be a step-by-step instruction manual, it should not be so loosely written that it appears you'll go for anything.
2) Be wary of email messages that border on disrespect or don't seem sincere. For instance, someone who is throwing out compliments that are not specific to you and could apply to anyone, or making inappropriate statements relating to intimacy. They could be making the same statements to others.
3) Pay attention to someone who won't give direct answers to basic questions, a sign that they are hiding something and won't show you who they really are.
4) Do they sound too good to be true? Are they trying too hard to impress you with life experiences that seem too exaggerated? With this person, the truth may be difficult to come by.
5) Do they sound eager to move to the next level such as, phone calls or even a date and then act as if the desire never existed?; this is dishonest behavior, and you will never know where you stand with them.
To deter these types of personalities from contacting you, indicate in your profile that you will only respond to "serious inquiries". Most people who are online as a pastime, and to play games, look for those who are likely to play along with them. On the other hand, inserting a "serious inquiries only" statement in your profile can be a discouragement for them.
Finally, with the millions of people visiting online dating sites daily, it would be impossible to regulate internet dating dishonesty on a large-scale basis. However, individuals can protect themselves by recognizing and not encouraging the deception, safeguarding personal information and reporting to the authorities if one feels threatened.